Today started real good.
I woke up to the sight of beautifully soft clouds like the top of barely broiled marshmallow sweet potatoes. Cute swirly skirt on, nice new hose with no runs, and my trusty off-white silk cardigan – I was feeling pretty sassy. I had just gotten to City Hall, where my senior prom was held, when something ridiculous happened.
Well, verbally attacked. I was walking along to work, minding my own damn business, when some crazy lady ran up to me and starting shouting obscenities in my face. She must’ve taken a strong dislike to the pink polka dots in my skirt.
I snapped a quick paparazzi-style photo of the psycho. Guess it’s time to bring out my taser. You think I’m kidding. I’m most definitely not. Good ol’ daddy gave me his old taser and I am not afraid to use it.