My parents taught me many things as a wee tot.

“Point at the moon and it’ll cut your ear off,” – Mumsies

“Education is the key to life.” – Dad

“Don’t bite Dad in public. Or steal your brother’s orange juice. And if you whistle at night, ghosts will eat you.” – Mumsies

They taught me that certain things are good, some are bad, and there is no free lunch. But sometimes, bad= good.

Man v. Food is one of the worst shows ever. Right up there with Manswers and Real Housewives of Orange County. But for some reason, after watching the host’s greasy, pudgy fingers wrap themselves around an enormous five-patty, six-bacon-slice, half-pound cheese, egg-on-top beast otherwise known as an edible heart attack, M wanted a burger. A hot, juicy, BAD burger.

I was game. So we walked down to Post and Jones, right next door to Borobudur.

This burger joint had over 550 great reviews on Yelp, so I figured it was a safe choice even if I was going to order a veggie burger.

It did not hurt that their Kobe beef Bula burger also won an SFWeekly Best Burger award last year.

M and I got a side each of garlic fries and onion rings. The garlic fries were awesome, totally like ballpark garlic fries. The onion rings were one of my favorite onion rings ever.

(Tangent: I hate onions. Loathe. They are harsh and astringent and make my breath smell like death for days. But, I love onion rings. Rather, I love the fried batter on the outside. So I bite though the ring, and spit out the onion chunk in my mouth, then pull out the interior onion. Do not judge.)

The batter on these babies was unique. Super thin, not bready at all, it was fried to perfection and tasted like popcorn chicken.

I ordered my veggie burger with grilled mushrooms and pepperjack. It came with a wheat bun! I did not even have to specify. The crisp and fresh lettuce and tomato slices were not drowned in mayonnaise and I had a ton of mushrooms falling everywhere off my burger. My only problem was how to eat it. Once I was a few bites in, I stopped suddenly,

“Babe? I think this is a chicken or turkey burger.”

“What? I heard them say veggie when they set it down.”

“It tastes like meat. Here.”

“Wow, that does taste like turkey. The texture is a little off though. Don’t worry, it’s veggie.”

Frowning, I stared at my burger. Then ate it.

While M’s Phat Bob burger, a half-pound wonder topped with bacon, ONION RINGS, and pepperjack, looked unbelievable, he said he was disappointed. According to him, the patty tasted frozen/defrosted rather than freshly hand molded, but otherwise, it was good. On a scale of 1 to 10, a 7. Solid.

I nodded sympathetically, and then ate the rest of the fries.

xoxo,

Jenn